Death of a Coffeehouse

Image by Jeroen van Oostrom

Last Friday, I met a friend at my favorite local coffeehouse, Caffe Felice.  The place was packed, and I had to move quickly to score us a table.  Practically since it opened, it's been my go-to place for writing and meeting people.  A central, public location that's never too noisy but not so quiet that you feel uncomfortable having a conversation. The coffee was fantastic, the owners were friendly...

Yesterday, following an appointment, I decided to go down there for a couple hours with my netbook to get some writing work done.  As I pulled into the Landing, I noticed that the parking was easier than usual.  Well, that's nice, I thought.  I should have no problem getting a table today.  I was lost in my own thoughts until I approached the door.  A brightly colored bouquet caught my eyes, threaded through the door handles.  A printed sign hung on both doors:  Closed.

I looked at the bouquet.  Had somebody died?  There was a card tucked into the flowers.  I hunkered down a little bit to read it.  I don't remember the exact words, but the writer essentially expressed her regret at the "unnecessary death of a small business and a fine addition to the Landing."  I stood there for a moment as the reality sank in.  It was gone.  My favorite writing and meeting place had vanished, suddenly, somehow, between last Friday and today.

I drove home, hoping to find some answers as to what had happened.  They were gone from Facebook (I had, of course, friended them).  Their website only linked to a domain name directory.  I found no links on Google that even mentioned that they had closed, only articles about their opening two years ago and the usual review sites.

What went wrong?  I'm racking my brain, but I can only think of a few things:

• Over the past year, their hours had slowly decreased.  At one time, they had been open until 9 pm, making them the perfect place to spend time before a late movie (which I had done), a meeting place for a book club (which I had also done), and getting a little evening work done while the kiddo was at Scouts (guess what?).  Slowly, the time they were open slipped back until they were open until 8 (which eliminated the book club option and the Scouts option), and then 7.  My visits decreased, since that evening availability was no longer there.
• The place was always packed, but I've been witness to people coming in with food from the 5 Guys up the street, eating their lunch, then leaving without buying anything at all.  Really, could you be more rude?  I always made a point of purchasing something when I went in, a coffee, an iced tea, oatmeal, a bagel... Were others not so considerate?  Was the free wi-fi slowly killing them while giving the appearance of a bustling business?
• While searching for answers on Google, I noticed that some person had written an utterly scathing review of Caffe Felice and proceeded to place it on practically every review site available.  I read through the review and came to the conclusion that the person writing it was... well, a jerk.  The owner, not one to suffer fools, was apparently quite open in letting him know that.  I can't say I don't blame her.  Isn't that part of the joy of owning your own business though?  Not having to kiss up to anyone you don't want to?  Did she need to do a better job of playing the "customer is always right" game?

I don't know the answer, and all of this is merely speculation.  I am sad, and I wish I could find out what happened.  I'm sure that there's a lesson to be learned here for small businesses or anyone who is their own boss.  

What is the lesson here?

Resolutions? Really?

Here it comes! Are your plans in place?
Image by Salvatore Vuono

It's that time again.  Time to make a bunch of promises to myself that I will surely break by January 3.  Maybe I can try calling them something different.  How about goals?  Ugh.  That just reeks of rah-rah you-can-do-it life coaching strategies.  All that positivity makes me ill. Can we call it a plan?  That sounds pretty good.  I like to make plans. I probably would have made a good project manager.  I make the plan and someone else has to follow it?  Sounds good to me!

Back to the topic at hand.  My plans for the new year contain many of the old, perennial favorites, but I'm actually heading in this year with some decent strategies in place.  I just need to keep up the momentum.  Here's my PLAN for the 2012:

1.  Live healthier (and hopefully drop some weight).  I've already put this plan in action.  I bought a book from someone about dealing with all that inner junk, to help work on the outer junk.  I know that I definitely have a lot of baggage in this arena, so hopefully this will help.  Can't hurt, right?

2.  Get my money issues in order.  This is an ongoing project over at the other blog.  It's at least something that I'm always conscious of, so hopefully that will keep things going in the right direction.  

3.  Keep the house in better shape.  I am a terrible housekeeper.  I just don't know what it is, but I just plain loathe housework.  And the poor house reflects it.  I don't quite have a strategy for this one yet.  Obviously the simplest strategy is "pick up as you go," but just like the simple strategy for weight loss is "eat less and move more," there's something getting in my way.  If it were that easy, there wouldn't be a whole shelf in the library dedicated to it, right?

And now the writing goals:

1.  Get that stupid city license.  I have the paperwork I need for it (finally), but thanks to holiday money issues, I wound up having to wait.  First paycheck in January is paying for that darn license.  Then I'm going to put my local marketing plan into action!

2.  Finish editing the novel.  Ugh, I know.  I've been saying this forever.  My poor baby is just sitting there, neglected.  I need to just get over it and get it done.  I find it harder and harder to work on projects that aren't actively paying me at the moment.  I need to set up a plan for that darn thing and make it happen.

3.  Start marketing magazine articles more aggressively.  My first real printed magazine article is coming out in March.  At that point I'll have a solid clip.  I plan to drop that clip all over town.  I'm thrilled that I have cultivated a positive relationship with the magazine.  They want me to do more work for them and I'm really excited about that!  Speaking of which...

4.  Get that e-book done. The magazine wants to promote it.  A nationwide ready-made audience ready to read my work?  What the hell am I waiting for?  I think there's a fear factor here, and I'm going to need to deal with it.

5.  Keep working on improving my productivity and efficiency.  It's getting better, but there's still work to be done.  I found a nifty little toy yesterday.  An online stopwatch.  So simple it's almost stupid.  But it kept me focused for long stretches of time, and I really got stuff done.  Good deal.

What will you be working on in the coming months?

My Writing Thankfulness List

Sometimes they're the hardest words to say.

Image by digitalart

This has been a strange and challenging year for my family, no question about it.

Making the transition from full-time hourly employee to freelance self-employee is something that I had never anticipated before this year, and some days I still wonder if this crazy experiment is going to work.  I know now, though, that working full-time on-site is no longer an option for me.  Everything I've read has told me that the key to a successful freelancing career is dedication and determination and heaven knows I've got those in spades.

I've been playing the thankful game on Facebook.  You know -- the one where everyday you have to come up with something you're thankful for.  The first few are easy, but once you make it past your family and friends, things get a little more challenging.

I take so many things for granted.  Either that, or I'm grudgingly grateful for them.  For example, I'm grateful that there's a roof over my head, but I wish that it wasn't this particular roof.  I'm grateful that I have a car that runs and gets me from Point A to Point B, but I'm frustrated that the heater is going out and that's going to be expensive to fix.

I hope that I haven't been taking my writing opportunities for granted.  Or those who have encouraged me along this rather circuitous and strange route.  While these might not make the Facebook list, I feel like they should be shared here:

• I am thankful for everyone who has supported me and who looked interested when I told them I was planning to write.
• I am thankful to editors who gave me a chance.
• I am thankful to editors who not only gave me a chance, but then gave me the ultimate complement of requesting more.
• I am thankful to everyone who has left a comment on this blog.
• I am thankful to everyone who has left a comment on my other blog.
• I am thankful to people who have read the comments I left and followed me back here.
• I am thankful for volunteer opportunities that opened the door.
• I am thankful to those whose blogs I avidly follow for teaching me so much.
• I am even thankful to the low-paying "beginner" markets out there for being a place for me to stretch my wings and giving me the confidence to seek out bigger and better things.

I am proud to be a part of the vivid online freelance writing community.  Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!

The Art of the "No"

When should you turn down a request for help?

Photo by Tungphoto

I confess to having a weak spot for a person in need.  I've certainly had to rely on the kindness of others more than once in my life, and I like having the opportunity to pay it back whenever I can.  Since I generally don't have a lot of cash handy, I usually offer my time.

Here's the problem with that.

I sometimes forget that time is just as valuable a commodity as that green paper you keep in your wallet.  (Notice I said that you keep in your wallet.  There's certainly none of it in mine.)  And others forget that work at home doesn't equate play at home.

Recently I got myself into a situation where I was way over my head.  A friend asked for help and I did my darndest to oblige.  A month turned into three months and I soon found myself exhausted and frustrated by the favor I was doing.  And I had no idea how to get myself out of it, since their livelihood depended on my assistance.

I was complaining and moaning about it, but I couldn't find the guts to simply say "no."  Or rather, I did, but the friend came back with a counter offer, and I said "okay," cursing myself the entire time.

Finally last week I had an epiphany.  I was putting my friend's family's needs over my own family's needs and certainly far above my own needs.  A favor was fast turning into a full time job.  I took a day to get my guts together and then the next day I sat her down, ready to hand her my awful verdict.

And got the surprise of my life.  She had already solved the problem in a way that would no longer require my assistance. She had already realized that she was asking for too much and had taken the steps to fix the situation, not wanting to feel like she was taking advantage of me.  I was incredibly relieved, since I was worried that saying "no" could put a strain on the friendship.  But instead, she gets to keep her job and I get my life back and all's well that ends well.

So what does this have to do with writing?

1.  If you work at home, before you agree to help out with a volunteer commitment that is likely to take up your time, remember that the keyword is "work."  Any job you take on that doesn't directly contribute to your income (and even some that do contribute to your income) is likely to cause your income and productivity to take a hit.  Trying to recoup that income is likely to leave you stressed and exhausted.

2.  Before agreeing to help out, consider the reality of the situation.  How much time is this really going to take?  Will helping out cost me money?  In my case, I learned that four kids really are not just as easy as two, and feeding the ravenous hordes was digging into my grocery bill.

3.  Negotiate.  Sometimes a trade can be more valuable than cash.  When someone needs assistance and can't offer you money, try to set up a barter system.  Everyone has a talent.  Sometimes a favor in the future can be beneficial.

Just to be straight -- I'm not saying never help out a friend in need and never volunteer.  Volunteerism is good.  The world would be a better place if people gave of their time and money more freely.  But do so on your own terms and don't overwhelm yourself with duties.  Burning out benefits no one.

I actually just offered my help in another arena last night.  I'll probably never be an expert on the art of saying "no."  But I did do a much better job assessing the time and energy commitment.  And if it gets to be too much, I will back out gracefully, standing firm in my decision.

Women, Writing and Money

Not a measure of self-worth, but you should charge what you are worth.

Photo by: worradmu

An excellent conversation is taking place over at AboutFreelanceWriting.com.  After an article discussing the ways to get paid what you are worth and the value of directness in pricing, I had a question.  "Are men more likely to be direct about getting paid then women?"  Writer Anne Wayman took the time to explore the question, believing it to be tied in to self-worth, rather than gender.  As she points out though, isn't that a bit of a gender issue as well?  If you can, by the way, take the survey to express your opinion.  I'm looking forward to seeing the results.

I think this is a really important subject to address.  It's well-known that women are still earning less than men working in the same position.  In 2010, TIME Magazine reported that women only earn 77 cents for every dollar earned by men.

What on earth is going on here?  While on the surface it appears to be a bias issue, the bias wouldn't be allowed if women weren't willingly settling for less.  Granted, wages aren't usually something that is talked about -- I know people who would happily report all about their sex lives but would never tell me what they made last year -- so it's hard to compare.

Are women as a whole more willing to accept a first offer?  Do some of them feel grateful to be hired at all?  Do they not feel worth more?

I'm the first person to confess to feeling a sense of gratitude when someone wants to hire me.  Sometimes the validation that I'm not a crappy writer gets in the way and almost becomes part of the payment.  I'm also still rather new to the game.

I've been working jobs that paid crummy wages for the past 20 years.  The idea of making $50 an hour frightens me.  Could I possibly be worth that much?  I have no college degree.  Enough credits for two separate degrees, but not in the right combination and not at the right schools.  According to the U.S. Department of Education and the National Center for Education Statistics, the average yearly pay for a woman who has only a high school diploma is $25,000 per year ($32,900 for men -- couldn't you just cry?).  At the job I left earlier this year I was making about $40,000 annually.  So, statistically speaking, I was doing really well for someone with no associate's degree.

Am I crazy to want more?  Am I crazy to think that I am worth more?  I have a skill.  I can write and edit.  I can research.  I can put thoughts together in a logical stream.  I can do these things well.  I had an inkling this was something I might be good at, but until I jumped in and began getting feedback from those who had no reason to coddle me, I could only suspect.

And here we are again.  I thought I was good at writing but I wasn't sure until other people told me so.  As a writer you won't succeed unless other people think your writing is good enough to buy, so there's certainly a point where other people have to think you're good.  So how do you deal with this issue when your creative process must have a dollar amount assigned to it and that dollar amount is determined by whether someone will purchase it at that price?

I know this is a point that has been bandied about for several decades and one blog post isn't going to solve the problem.  It's probably also a good question for my therapist!

I'd love to hear your thoughts on the subject.